A Writer on Paper

©. Aug. 5. 2023

I realized that

I’m not a performer,

But a writer.

Though I’m a writer,

My handwriting

Is not legible

Like rhetorical

Questions rewritten

In leaking ink.

The best that I could do

Was write stories

Somewhat proper.

Like my paper

Harvested honey

From beehives for you,

It’s permissible

Because my writing

Should make you think.

You need to go outside.

Socialize with strangers.

Write about your dangers.

You need to feel alive.

Then I decided

To write about great signs

And wonders,

Gracing your body

With legerdemain,

But you’re a thought.

You’re like

Unconventional honesty

That’s above me.

A useful delusion,

You could be,

Like a soul plunders.

When they unearth

The tesserae,

Would you be reported?

I fell for lonesome

Eventides

And wrote nobody.

You need to go outside.

Socialize with strangers.

Write about your dangers.

You need to feel alive.

I’m not a public speaker,

But I can write

About speech.

I can write about

Caller ID’s

And text properly.

Too bad,

This much of being me

Disrupts the status quo.

I’ve rewritten

During road curves

Like I learned how to teach,

But would you

Prefer cursive

When reading a novella?

Then a novella

Turns into novels

On a plateau.

You need to go outside.

Socialize with strangers.

Write about your dangers.

You need to feel alive.

When I’m writing,

Sometimes, the pages

Turn into drawings.

The distractions

Remind me of writer’s block

In the dark,

Then the neighbor

Plays his music

And I put on earphones.

Rhyme the sound

Of the loudest yell

In the world with playthings.

I learned to use erasers,

Then learned

To use computers.

Autocorrect shows

That I’m error-prone,

Printing milestones.

You need to go outside.

Socialize with strangers.

Write about your dangers.

You need to feel alive.

Accept a love note

On a scroll

With a quill pen aside.

Answer the question

With baguettes attached

To the basket.

Must you ignore

The ornate glassware

If I write to you?

Semantics are calling you

Snookums

Like they can backslide,

So I learned

To keep many words

In my head while thinking.

Writing isn’t the only

Thing that I can

Live up to.

You need to go outside.

Socialize with strangers.

Write about your dangers.

You need to feel alive.

Artsy Collection

© May 30, 2020. All Rights Reserved.

Title: Love’s Periple

Size: 11″ X 14″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 5/25/2020

How to play:
Roll the die to see how many spaces you move your pawn.
If the die lands on a 1, you answer 1 positive thing your opponent asks.
If the die lands on a 2, you answer 2 positive things your opponent asks.
If the die lands on a 3, you answer three positive things your opponent asks.
If the die lands on a 4, you answer 4 negative things your opponent asks.
If the die lands on a 5, you answer 5 negative things your opponent asks.
If the die lands on a 6, you answer 6 negative things your opponent asks.
If you refuse to say a positive thing about your opponent, you lose 50 points.
If you refuse to say a negative thing about your opponent, you lose 25 points.
The person to gain the most points wins. Land on different blocks to gain or lose points.
Positive points:
Wedding ring: 50 points
You got a promotion 20 points
You’re wealthy: 45 points
New car: 15 points
New house: 20 points
Baby: 30 points
Remember partner’s anniversary/
birthday: 45 points
Save your partner’s life: 45 points
Got your dream job: 40 points
Lifetime achievement: 25 points
Vacation: 30 points
Trip to the movies: 40 points
5 star restaurant: 35 points
Learn a new language: 20 points
Negative points:
Lost wedding ring: -50 points
Your partner cheated on you: -20 points
You’re in the hospital: -45 points
Car breaks down: -15 points
Parent’s house on fire: -20 points
Rejection: -30 points
Forget partner’s anniversary/
birthday: -45 points
Someone you love dies: -45 points
Struggle to pay the bills: -45 points
Got fired: -25 points
Child support: -30 points
Got arrested: -40 points
Drugs: -35 points
Jealous ex: -20 points

100503269_2684109698488636_3934570938015678464_o

 

Title: A Vile Sourire

Size: 11″ X 14″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 4/3/2020

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Title: Beau idéal of Her

Size 11″ X 14″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 2/19/2020

 

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85011387_2598269630405977_6567593341679042560_oTitle: Conurbation of Adoration

Size: 11″ X 14″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 2/12/2020

 

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Title: Popsy Jouissance

Size: 16″ X 20″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas/ glitter on canvas

Date: 1/27/2020

 

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Back: Abstract art on back

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Title: Matrimony of Life

Size: 16″ X 20″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 8/ 5/2019

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Back: abstract art on back

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Title: Penelope Wanted

Size: 10-1/4″ H X 11-1/2″ W X 1-1/4″ D

Medium: Acrylic on heart-shaped wooden plank/ has resplendent red glitter underneath acrylic paint and a zipper attached on the right side.

Date: 2/14/2019

 

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Right side of heart-shaped wood plank with zipper decoration

51210383_2309226472643629_7815803368672067584_oTitle: Cari Gentlewoman

Size: 16″ X 20″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 1/16/2019

 

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Title: Fille De Joie

Size: 16″ X 20″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 11/15/2018

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45265409_2249880438578233_965310671623290880_oTitle: Chord War Pool

Size: 16″ X 20″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 10/10/2018

 

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41229752_2217282951837982_1520454848401637376_o41412461_2219422134957397_3429316603131461632_o41691104_2221367518096192_2707345829173133312_o40603754_2215162542050023_762509866458677248_o40088255_2210820582484219_4173194012401860608_o39052637_2196322387267372_1386340826681966592_o38630024_2189710567928554_7605858177468334080_o38126928_2182581491974795_6020446892222054400_o37774446_2172911989608412_424668597948776448_o37228649_2165332130366398_8239460360088715264_o36941123_2161410140758597_1753861349999378432_o36848429_2159221207644157_6256526474090643456_o36472494_2151262998439978_302032979406880768_o36411814_2150673365165608_4024282037346107392_o29497066_2091131114453167_858286490403209216_o29366508_2091131087786503_1343774101596012544_o29366275_2091131104453168_4395054121489530880_o29386217_2091131061119839_4774371713083244544_o29389050_2091131031119842_1959961072299409408_oTitle: Before the Morningless

Size: 11″ X 14″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 10/31/2017

 

 

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Back: Abstract art on back

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Title: A Lone Pulchritude

Size: 11″ X 14″

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Date: 10/26/2017

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Back: Acrylic on back

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For Anna

© Aug 4, 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Part 1

Fathom how she can slumber in the
Susurrus of your speckled tears in the
Tempestuous wind, yet you’re lulled by
Her blissful content.

The overture of our companionship
Awaits, but my dignity is hushed
Before your presence.

Bypassing your eminence in
Acting, from the amalgamations
Of your ethereal words, I swoon,

With reveries that you’re blushing,
But I dare not to hug you. I can give
Roses tourette’s, but you’re Godsent.

I’m quarreling with my conscience of
Squandering your valuable time from
A dunderhead like me. It’s intense.

Gingerly turning the sharp corners of
A platonic heart is a thunderous rejection.
Perhaps, you’ll notice me soon.

Part 2

Much to my desires, I recall no obsession for
Anyone like you. Solemnly swearing, my only
Nightmare is your elation excluding a
Disconsolate me.

Empower yourself unattached, but
My conceited nightmare jauntily
Dances with verisimilitude.

When delighted, you smile, but I
Expect your wry face when you know
I’ll love you in your dotage. I’m sincere.

I admire the thought of when the
Warmth of our breaths intermingle.
You’re lovely.

My beloved, I’ll caress your voluptuous
Body as you feel the winnowing from
Our protection. Your life, I intrude.

I can’t approach you. The effort
Of how I nudge your shoulder is
Beyond angst, but I mustn’t disappear.

Part 3

Surprising you are my expectations. I duly wait.
My qualms remind me you’ll be unflattered,
Let alone trust my greeting as I stammer
With perspiration.

Lacking bleary eyes, I travel the outskirts
Of town to observe you. Indeed, I’m an
Aficionado of you.

With a sunburned neck, I observe your ambidextrousness
In the Summer drought. You’re effortlessly stretching
On a two-story balcony.

As you wear an exquisite, red bra and panty embroidered
With laced, floral designs and emblazoned with studs,
I ogle at your cleavage. Sweet love deprivation.

Perfect! You’re a 5 foot 6 brunette with a 34C
Breast size, 120 pounds, and 16-years-young.
As the tears gush out of my eyes, I’m not blue.

My suī generis love, your perfect smile can
Transmogrify into a flirtatious snigger.
Please, don’t laugh at me.

Part 4

As you lip-lock the past, I’m still waiting. Teetering
On my uncooperative legs, I’ll swig the poison in
Your heart with a golden amphora, and
Festoon it with love.

My tableau of serenity is forsaken by your significant
Other, so I douse your body with my blood. I saved
My love in the hospital.

Relieved that I saved the quintessence of life,
I expect no favors. I beg of you not to faint
Again, for I’m enamoured of your breaths.

Still, you’re not acquainted with me. I’m in deep melancholy.
I simply can’t introduce myself, and still, you’re not
Acquainted with me thereof.

I see the fading bullies you face in high school for being a
Transgendered woman, and I deliberately, single-handedly
Handle them. I’m mentally stable.

With dwindling depression, I’m reluctant to cordially say I share
Your sympathy. It’s me sneaking starry love letters in your book
Bag and lunch box. Your troubles are missing in a thousand deaths.

Part 5

Today, I mournfully observe you wearing your black,
Sequinned spaghetti strap, bell-bottom,
blue jeans with black puppy
Paws as designs.

Walk in those black, high heels. The adversity
On your worse day allegorizes my ambitions. My
Fun-loving woman, I’m always vigilant.

Follow the trail of love letters to gillyflowers, which conveys my
Everlasting love, and sense my ephemeral life lurking in your
Deepest demands.

The nostalgic memories of you sucking on a pacifier
Comforts my soul. Nuzzle against my face, and veer
Not like me. For you, I abandon my bloodlines.

To scald your breast milk on my tongue
Is a sensational moment for a masochist
Like me. My time is well spent.

I dream of showing you the world
Without insecurities. Promise me us,
And I give you preplanned dreamlands.

Part 6

As much as I adore you, I find new ways to adore
You everyday. Born in a town where it’s illegal to
Talk over ten seconds in public,
I overthink about what I can say to you.

Yet, I see others unworthy of your time.
Collin, spewed through a straw into
Your edible lunch in the cafeteria.

He wore a black undershirt with grey cargo pants, and black
Boots. Undeniably, I followed him home to shoot him
Through the front window.

Passionately, smile when you hearken to his death over the intercom.
I blink not when I watch you articulate the next love letter hidden
In your locker by your secret admirer. Think about me anew.

I watched you bash your head on the bathroom mirror until you bled.
Angie, your bully (with a yellow tank top and green khakis) screamed at the
Sight, dropping her cup of coffee. Angie then invited guffaws. Oh, the hysteria.

Lacerations cross these forlorn eyes. There’s despair in the
Temperature, but for you, I activated a bomb in Angie’s car.
I stress to wonder if you’ll see me tomorrow.

Part 7

Two days later, verily I lynch two police officers from a
Marquee on the highway. They mocked you for extended
Time just as the school principal did. For you, I stabbed
His face on a stove top burner.

Then, I tossed his grubby fingers under the kitchen sink.
It’s a gentle touch of alleviation. It’s the least I can do.
Now, everyone’s in horror and trepidation.

It’s more complicated for you to date. The suspicion of my uprising
Crimes are on the loose. Eventually, you find dates, but I
Needlessly wonder if I’m meant for you.

The penumbra of your gifts are an inspirational enlightenment. Unbeknownst
To you, my heart throbs fairly fast. Adamant of not conforming, I observe
You with honor, wondering when we’ll meet each other.

My heart is your bastion of harmony as I dwell in the memories
Of you straying pass majestic landscapes. I cuddle against the wind
Of your movements, inhaling a higher emotion.

Your peripheral vision won’t capture my patience.
As you discover a love letter in your bed, I count your breaths,
Overwhelmingly, you smile. Smile anew.

Simple Distance

© Feb 1, 2016. All Rights Reserved.

 

Day one, I’m 5,
And I saw you,
Through a window,
Pass curfew.

Only you
Made me walk.
Only you
Made me talk.

Day two,
I called you love,
And I got
A shove.

I thought
About yesterday.
Why were you
Out late anyway?

Day three, I walked outside
To look about.
My mind was
Torn inside-out.

Until I saw you
As my heart would race.
As you ran, I hid my face.

Day four,
It started to snow.
I stared on the bus,
And kept my head low.

The bus driver
Took attendance.
Amelia, I knew
Your name ever since.

Day five, we were in
The same class.
Kindergarten’s where
I saw your pizzazz.

You’d talk
To everyone.
Animals. Objects.
They all had fun.

Day six, I couldn’t
Focus on homework.
My photographic memory
Had your smirk.

My knees trembled
To your sight,
But I couldn’t
Kiss you goodnight.

Day seven, my mother
Whooped me in class.
You laughed as I
Pooped brown mass.

How could I
Forget your comment?
Look at that loser!
My world went.

Day eight, distract
The fact that I want you.
It’s how you act;
It’s what you do.

Only real.
It’s who you are.
I don’t
Need a repertoire.

Day nine, I hold
The class door for you.
I insist you walk,
So you do.

We could’ve bonded,
But you didn’t.
That’s the day
My mind went.

Day ten,
You were horseback riding.
Me and the horses
Words were fighting.

Your touch
Was meant to be mine.
You could’ve rode me
Until you were fine.

Off Date

© Jan 2, 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Bluffing, but diagnosed.
November, I raped her.
It was in a porta-potti.
I bluff not from coast to coast.
I’ve raped many, Father.
I experienced with her body.
She stood out,
Like a retina flow,
Falling from a high-rise building.
I could smell her doubt.
Only then did it snow,
Down holes through the ceiling.
The window was my escape.
I was young and horny.
I got a hands-on experience.
I don’t know her name, but her ass could gape.
This may sound corny.
It’s our anniversary. No offense.

Father, I’m tired of thinking clear.
Father, your daughter was coming near.

Do you forgive me?
I didn’t wake up this way.
Demons, one feel could cause.
I never had a damn degree,
So put me out my misery.
Fuck the ubiquitous laws.
I penetrated her well,
As a working session.
She desperately enjoyed it.
I told her not to ever tell.
I had two balls and one gun.
She died when I shot her in the clit.
Shit! I’m not going to heaven.
The next week, I graduated.
Long gone college and long gone her.
I heard how she fucked a girl at eleven.
My priorities are evaluated.
All in life was made to conquer.

Eclipse Eyes

© Dec. 6, 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has an eclipse fear.

A face in the shadows.
A tank top attracts a killer bee.
A mini-skirt with a so-so pose.
All in blood from the killing spree.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has an eclipse near.

A look from her family.
Grins drip and drips drop.
She lost her virginity.
The condom slides for a stop.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has an eclipse roll.

She would say you’re moving her.
She would stay a label.
A molested number.
Forgetting. You’re capable.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has an eclipse soul.

Protruding from her head,
A bullet on a bird,
With long teeth, dripping red.
This night’s absurd.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has eclipse eyes.

Who committed the murder?
How’d the bird get in her head?
Did she have a lover?
She always wanted to be dead.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has an eclipse prize.

A noose on an umbilical cord.
Chromosomes turning red,
On the bird explored.
The bird’s chirping in her head.

Autopsy. Autopsy.
She has an eclipse size.

The silhouette of the sun,
Brightens to sunshine,
From the gunman’s destruction.
Then, comes the moonshine.

Stable Seppuku

© June 19, 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Persuading you to my heart.
It wasn’t worth my time.
It wasn’t the way to start.
Now it ends with a crime.
Now it’s focused to depart.

Pillows to cover your scream,
Weight to press you down.
Trade pills in this dream.
Wake me up before I frown.
I can taste your bloodstream.

Dragging you the hard way,
I can’t let you go.
Listen to what I say.
I know what you know.
That’s why you can’t stay.

Seppuku.
I’m killing you.
Seppuku
I’m killing me.

Begging you to tell the truth.
I’m losing words to honor.
Abusing your sweet tooth.
Call me when I conquer.
Torching our oath of youth.

Exhaustion in warfare.
There’s more undercover.
I find them in my nightmare.
One after another.
They’re all you, and they stare.

Leaving me heartbroken.
I won’t forget my first.
Confidence is now and then.
Love speaks to the worst.
Forcing you away again.

Seppuku.
I’m killing you.
Seppuku
I’m killing me.